Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
