I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
