Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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