I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i need some magic done to my vagina
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
