You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
