so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
