Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
