i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize