I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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