uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
