I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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