I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
