That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
