1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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