he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
