My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
