hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
