I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
