I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
