The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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