There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
