i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
