You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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