if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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