I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
