Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
two words...techno handjob
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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