Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
