Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
