I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
