maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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