i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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