Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
