I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
