Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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