oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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