The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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