Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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