Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and she was petting her beer can
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
