He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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