He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
