dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
