dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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