New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
