***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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