Got a toothbrush?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
