In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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