Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
