Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
