dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
