I hope mine doesn't look like that
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
