I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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