I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Terrible idea I love it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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