As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
