i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
