this boner is exhausting
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
