what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
