He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
