Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
